Tottenham's Transfer Window: An Unmitigated Disaster?

The last couple of weeks have not been particularly positive for us Tottenham fans. Aside from a brief lift against Fulham we have been struck down by a set of results more disappointing than a tour of the Emirates trophy room. It should be stated that a draw away at Birmingham is by no means a disaster. Yet, having had the lion's share of possession and a couple of chances to put the game to bed; tucking up little Chucho with a kiss on the forehead and a traditional Ecuadorian folksong, we managed to blow it in extra time again. Corluka's languid style always strikes me as equivalent to one of those muzzled dancing bears typical in Eastern European circuses, gyrating lamely to the wheezing of an accordion. The equalizer did little to banish this image as, when the killer ball was delivered, he appeared to be scratching himself against the back post, totally oblivious to the game of football going on around him. Such is the curse of the entire Tottenham team who appear to treat extra time as some kind of encore; an electrifying curtain call filled with rash challenges and needless killer balls.

Despite this, it wasn't all bad. The filth from down the road have gone down in the history books as the first team to be defeated in 3D. And defeated they were, not by a small margin but in "trousers pulled down and bum spanked by Mummy in front of the older boys on first day of school" style. Special commendation must go to Gael Clichy who's idea of a tackle seemed to be running alongside his player hurling handfuls of grass and daises at the ball. Arsenal's effeminate defending was enough to make the usually flamboyant and limp wristed Nani look like some kind of muscle bound, John Terry-esque animal. Talking of John Terry...actually lets not go there...

The potential saving grace of our 2010 was the January transfer window. As soon as 'Arry was quoted as saying this would be "a quiet one", we were instantly linked to every player under the sun. Van Nistelrooy and Huntelaar up front, Sandro and Muntari in the middle; Joe Cole, Anton Ferdinand and Lionel Messi all warming the bench. Instead, the spinning, merry carousel of transfer dealings has left many feeling underwhelmed, disgruntled and wanting their money back from the long haired, chain smoking ride operator. But was it really that bad?

My major criticism would be the lack of an experienced CB signing. Woodgate and Ledley now have a total of about three effective limbs between them and cannot be relied upon to lead the backline. For all his improvement, I still do not see Dawson as capable of mentoring Bassong in the same way C*mpbell did of King, or indeed Ledley did with Daws. An older, more experienced signing, even on loan, would have been the perfect remedy to see us through to the end of the season. Dawson still has costly lapses in concentration and, as the Leeds game demonstrated, often his decision making lets him down. He needs a player with a cool, old head beside him to curb his wilder instincts and underlying indiscipline. Instead we have got Kaboul, who for all this talk of improvement, is still young and may have been made to look good by the abysmal players either side of him.

Another worry is the lack of cover in midfield. With Sandro now, inexplicably, staying in Brazil for another few months, the burden of midfield enforcer falls heavily onto the shoulders of Wilson and Thudd. 'Arry clearly has as much faith in Jenas as Mrs Terry does in her husband (cue lawsuit) and with O'Hara now back on loan, our famous squad depth is looking distinctly shaky. Once again many have suggested that Kaboul has been brought back as a cover for DM. Personally the thought of an unproven Pompey player one injury away from responsibility for the spine of the team fills me with about as much confidence as Terry's marriage vows. Yes I know he's "big" and he's "physical", but so's that fat Portsmouth fan with the cow bell - surely worth a punt on a pay as you play??

However, the rest of the movement has been, on the whole, positive. Naughton will finally get the first team experience he deserves at Boro. I have always rated him but he won't develop jogging up and down the sidelines and having awkward conversations with Pav on the bench. I'm also glad to see Hutton getting to the chance to prove himself. 'Arry seems pretty set with the dancing bear so this move may help bring about a genuine competition for the right back spot next season. As regards the recall of Walker, you need only look at the comments from Blades fans on the article "Tottenham's £8 million mystery man", to see what a prodigious talent we seem to have on our hands.

The most important exchange of the window was undoubtedly Keano for Gudjohnsen, and this is a move I am particularly happy with. I remember Gudjohnsen from his time at Chelsea and always had a grudging appreciation for his intelligent link play and devastating through balls. All my Chelsea friends (we all have to make compromises) look back on him with a bleary eyed nostalgia and there are even allegations that John Terry showed respect and deference to his wife. At 31 he is past his prime, but he is a player that never relied on pace, athleticism or the other fickle trappings of youth. 'Arry may really have struck gold this time.

As for Keano, well what is there to say? There was a time was looked upon you as a loveable rogue. When you pointed wildly, spraying spittle over the referee after you'd fallen over the ball; we laughed and cheered you on your way. When you celebrated your goals with that camp half-hearted flip, not one man stood up and questioned your sexuality. When you mumbled incoherently during interviews, eyes flickering involuntarily like an Irish 'Rainman', we all nodded and concurred. I really do wish you the best at your latest boyhood club. If it works out then perhaps Levy will be able to roll around in a bathload of paper thin, mostly fraudulent Scottish notes come Summer. If not then there's a very comfy looking seat on the bench that a chap called Bentley is kindly keeping warm for you.

For reports on Naughton/Walker: http://inarrywetrust.blogspot.com/2009/12/tottenhams-8-million-mystery-man.html

In'ArryWeTrust