Forget Bale, there are times when I think our whole club is cursed!
Who can possibly forget Lasagne-gate, where our aspirations of Champion's League glory slipped from Martin Jol's chubby sausage fingers on the final day of the season. My enduring memory is watching Carrick play a long ball forward, a look of horror and disbelief suddenly sketched across his pained face. One hand grasped the back of his sagging shorts, the other gesticulating wildly at the bench as he waddled towards the dugout sobbing 'Martin...its happened again'. Then of course there was the phantom goal that Mendes scored against United. Clattenburg petrified by the prospect of actually making a decision appeared to put his faith in democracy. "Ok all of you who think it wasn't a goal, jump up and down and wave your red scarfs in the air...hmmm ok I think that's fairly conclusive". Even the linesman, suddenly struck down by Wenger-itis, claimed he could not see, instead standing as stiff as John Terry looking at the 08/09 Chelsea WAG calendar. Factor in all the last minute deflections, slices, penalty decisions and general mishaps, and we have every reason to feel somewhat aggrieved. Something tells me that somewhere in North London, a withered old mage known as "Uncle Arsene" is mixing up his next anti-Tottenham hex; complete with eye of newt, wing of bat and still warm y-front of a French academy player.
The Villa game appeared to be just another display of how unlucky we can be. With the number of shots we had, the possession we maintained and the pressure we applied, O'Neill should have been scuttling back to the Walkers stadium, pleading to be put in charge of a decent team. Yet somehow we came out having dropped another two points at home after a comfortable performance. Contrary to what many media outlets (especially the clueless, hideous American agencies drawling about team's "powerful offence" and "awesome set plays") have stated, we were excellent on Saturday. Daws and Ledley were imperious, keeping Heskey, then the enormous man-mountain Carew in their back pocket. Bale continued to demonstrate his phenomenal talent whilst Corluka, despite appearing to spend the game fossilizing was solid as ever. In the middle, Huddlestone and Palacios roamed freely, breaking up play and spreading the ball for counter attacks. Even Bentley had a decent game, his habit of pirouetting every four paces actually becoming rather endearing.
Another two points dropped, another case of the Tottenham curse...right? Actually I'm not so sure. Admittedly important decisions appeared to go against us as Foy stumbled awkwardly round, his tight shorts stuffed with Arsenal's unspent "transfer budget", but such excuses cannot continue. For all the talk of needing a back up keeper, a midfield enforcer and a central defender, I think our real problem lies in our self proclaimed 'strongest area'. Whilst Defoe can be painfully inconsistent, he is a natural goal scorer and has added several pounds of physical presence to his game. Sure, he's no Drogba in the air but the drivel about dropping/selling him I have seen on some forums are as mindless as Zokora's running. He is one of the few strikers in the league who can be anonymous for much of the game before springing up and slotting a couple from no-where. Instead the real issue appears to be the role of second striker.
The jury is still out on Peter Crouch but the metaphorical collection of silver haired pensioners and acne riddled students are beginning to tutt and shift awkwardly in their seats. 'Arry proudly stated "the lad won nearly every header" against Villa and he wasn't far wrong. The only problem was that every header rolled lamely out for a throw-in or was blasted forwards with wild optimism. For much of the game we would have been far better hammering a large wooden stake into the ground and trying to ricochet long balls off it. An old football coach of mine, that's right I'm going all ITK on yo asses (next week...how to win over the woman you love) used to train Crouchy during his time at Southampton and said for a boy of his size he was incredibly weak in the air. Instead, he suggested the other players lay the ball to his feet where he was considerably more adept. Yet, time and time again, slick counter attacking football is exchanged for hoofs up the field. Crouchy is a tidy footballer and is still enormously useful in the air but he is quite simply not fitting into our current style of play.
We are left with one of two options. Either we persist with Crouchy but make a deliberate policy of playing as though he is 5 foot nothing or we change the strike partnership. I hate to sound sensationalist but at such a crucial time of the season, these big decisions need to be made. It is clear that we need a high profile goalscorer in the summer but who is the man to partner Defoe up front and lead our forlorn hope of Champions League football?
Gentlemen, I lend you my ears...
In'ArryWeTrust
Good article. I can answer your question in 3 letters... P A V!!!
ReplyDeleteCOYS
Agreed PAV!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant and very entertaining.....agree that Pav needs to be used more now that my fellow Irishman has gone to his second spiritual home.
ReplyDeleteWe are a very good team but still some players away from a great one...we nneed wise shoulders in this team and not all 22 and a great future asst financially
You deserve everything you get- how you can push a player who openly says he doesnn't want to play against a committed professional like Crouchy is beyond me. perhaps if\Defoe was alot less selfish.looked up once in a whils and stopped thinking of his own glory instead of the teams you might get somewhere. You ought to read the Mirror today - all the top teams have midfields that score goals - where is yours??? Its not Crouchy who puts the long balls in Liverpool knew how to play him ( Hat trick against Arsenal??)Thank God harry has more sense than you
ReplyDeleteneed a top centre midfieler and a top striker i would go for van der vaart and huntelaar
ReplyDeleteGudjohnson is the man to get the best out of Defoe, clever football brain who can link the midfield with attack. We need to keep the ball on the floor< if we need to score Crouch is a great sub to bring on
ReplyDeleteWe need our midfield to start contributing some goals. Krankie scored a couple but the others need to step up.
ReplyDeleteHow about the pen we never got? Even Lawro said it should have been.(which says it all)
ReplyDeleteHooray! at last - some propeer fans who don't just want to blame Crouch. perhaps if you got off his back he'll relax and will be your best striker.Remember liverpool fans were sorry to see him go - and he took a while to settle in there.perhaps you should blame the midfield for their lack of creativity - not the poor bloke who has to keep winning the long balls.
ReplyDeleteThank God Harry's got more sense than you - talk about a one dimensional unpleasant little article
ReplyDeleteGood Article but i dont think the jury is out on Crouchy!! Ive made my mind up.Nice lad but He aint quite good enough. I would definately like to see Pav get a few games and im very interested to see if Eidurs still got it. But our Arry is a stubborn man and im expecting him to stick with what he knows, and thats Crouchy
ReplyDeleteSo a has been who can't score for Monaco and a player who can't wait to leave, are better than Crouch?
ReplyDeleteYou must be mad - or one eyed. Try looking at the midfield if you want to apportion blame. How many scoring opportunities, let alone goals have they created?
Fantastic article. I couldn't agree more.
ReplyDeleteThe stats say Defoe and Keane where our most prolific amazingly and then PAV and Defoe .Both Crouchy and Defoe are missing Lennon .Harry should somtimes play three forwards and just leave this back three Corluka Dawson Bassong or king and this front three pav crouch defoe or play an extra midfield but dont leave all our subs frustrated when we had played on a heavy pitch was maddnes and i bet Sandra was Livid .DAVSPURS
ReplyDeleteJima
ReplyDeleteGood article - think the point is that he should try something different - bring Pav and Gudj on if we haven't scored on 60 mins, or just one of them - we used to do it, and in pre season Pav and Defoe looked great together. Defo agree that we need to play 3MP as if he's 5FP, with the occassional high cross. People who blame the midf are also correct, if we are gonna pump long balls in, get men in there for the knock downs, you can't rely on Defoe when he's got 3/4/5 players outnumbering him, need to up the percentages, when we're round the box, fill it - may get exposed occassionally but Palacious is usually the only one putting a tackle in anyway. Be good to have Defoe and 3MP looking over their shoulders
The midfield really ned to start weighing in with some goals - thats what the "Sky 4" sides do when their strikers are off form...
ReplyDeleteHudd and Modric, Bentley and Palacios - het on in there.....COYS
Would love to see Gudjohnsen given a start against Wolves. I reckon he could conjure up a cheeky little partnership with Defoe.
ReplyDeleteLove your articles- keep up the good work
The problem isn't the midfield either. It's players like Charlie and Dawson (bless his heart) who, despite their obvious ability, are not ball players. Watching Charlie do a stepover literally makes me sort of dizzy. So when they come under any kind of pressure, they'll just sit deep and hoof it up the park in the hopes that something, anything, will latch on to it. We had this tendency last season too, and part of the reason that we were so shit was because there was no one tall enough to get on the end of anything that might have begun a meaningful counterattack.
ReplyDeleteIt would also help if they could trust Wilson to do anything meaningful with the ball. He seems like the ultimate easy pass as he's always dropping back to close down his man or put in a tackle, but once he gets a-hold of the ball, he's perfectly okay with kicking it to whoever, so long as it's a human in a player's strip. This is why he can't seem to play with Jenas, who is also incapable of doing anything with the ball, and suffers from the additional ignominy of being shit.
Yes good article and well written - as usual.
ReplyDeletePerhaps Crouch has just hit a rough patch of form - at the same time as defoe? both were more prolific in the not too distant past. Defoes dip in scoring seems to have corresponded with the absence of Lennon....hmmm wonder if that means Defoe needs some kind of understanding in his service. Gud has all the experience to provide the sophisticated layoffs and holding up of play - give him a go. Poor crouch - love the comment about him being 5' tall, said it myself. He has great feet and some skill but the rest of the team can only see a lanky git!
WTF! crouch has a hand growing from the inside of his knee in the photo at the top of this page! Maybe thats why he cant jump - the man is a freak!
ReplyDeleteLol and an extra pair of feet!?
ReplyDeleteTo all the Crouch lovers did you actually read the article? The blogger is saying EITHER play it to his feet where his real ability lies OR mix it up with another striker.
ReplyDeleteHave any of the people sticking up for Crouch after the clearly horrendous critism of this article actually considered Crouch might actually like it at his feet rather than blasted at his head??
Good article as always, don't mind the mugs.
Freddy
Haha the Carrick bit was quality. Nice one!
ReplyDeleteWish you could do these more often. When's the next comedy one?
You need to put the crack pipe down since when has pav shown any form since he has been at the lane answer he has not otherwise he would be playin..Why dont you engage your brain before you come out with utter bollocks
ReplyDelete'You need to put the crack pipe down since when has pav shown any form since he has been at the lane answer he has not otherwise he would be playin..Why dont you engage your brain before you come out with utter bollocks'
ReplyDeleteErr...... Perhaps you should pick the crack pipe up again as its presumerbly been too long since your last hit and which is making you delusional. To the best of my knowledge Crouch has 10 goals in 30 appearances for Spurs and Pav has 16 goals in 44 appearances - fairly comparable records so if Pav has shown no form at Tottenham surely it follows that you think Crouch hasn't either?? I therefore ask, coining your own charming phrase, why don't you engage YOUR brain before you come out with utter bollocks?
Hmmm hit the nail on the head here my friend. Whatever it is something isn't working up front for us at the moment and one way or another things need to change.
ReplyDeletePersonally I'd like to see the Iceman given a chnace with Defoe. However everyone arguing for Pav has a valid point. He looked very sharp against Leeds and took his goal well. People would have laughed if I'd said to start Bale or Bentley a month ago. Look what a run of form has done for them.
Crouch AND Defoe need genuine competition for their places. Everyone knows in this Premiership you need genuine cover/rotation in every position to survive.
I just think its a shame we never gave Pav a chance this season, Harry was in such a rush to re buy all his old Pompy players that he didn't give more time to the team he already had. Pav is a great player and has shown that for his country again and again. He scored 15 goals in his first season even though he was coming strait of the back of the Russian season.. thats impressive. I get the felling that because he is having trouble learning English Harry doesn't think he is dedicated enough. I seem to read quotes from him saying "Pav is looking really good in practise" etc. But it seems nobody can push his lanky lover off the pitch. I just wonder if we get a top four finish and we buy another striker as i am sure Pav and Keane will go, will it be Crouch or Defoe that gets dropped.
ReplyDeleteApart from that i agree with the midfield needing to contribute more goals.
Good article.
I think Crouchy has done ok recently but needs to add another goal or two to his game. I think we may pay for not going for Vieira, pains me to say it, but to have him and Eidur, 2 players with winning mentalities in the dressing room would have been invaluable. Look at City last night, played crap but won 2-0, we are playing well but not finishing teams off.
ReplyDeleteI've said this before, please someone break Crouchie's leg in training, then only Guddie or Pav can start.. and Ghostspur (on Pav) spot on mate! Harry himself is a shame!! Wonder what would happen if he was to coach elsewhere like Russia, Spain etc (where no one will be dedicated enough to learn English)so, his team will not play at all..!!
ReplyDeleteGIO!!!
ReplyDeleteThe long man makes a great sub, if plan A is not working bring on the Giant. But if think he should stay as plan B. PAv needs a decent run with Defoe.
ReplyDeleteI've always wanted to see Defoe and Pav out there together. I let out a huge GROAN when I read that we had picked up Crouchy. Sure, he was entertaining to watch when he played for OTHER clubs...but I didnt want him anywhere near us.
ReplyDeleteI'm sick of watching us waste cross after cross and flick after flick assuming Crouch will all of a sudden be able to head the ball into the back of the net (instead of wildy here or there like you had said). Insanity, after all, is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
When he strikes with his feet there is a surprising power behind him...I think he should either try that or try sitting on the bench and give Pav a try!
How can our midfield score when Crouch and Defoe are clogging the box. I think they are both good strikers they are not a good partnership though. Every time Modric gets the ball he looks up and has no one to pass to. At least Keane would come back and link up the play some and allow our midfielders to do more. Why not try Kranjcar as a second striker?
ReplyDeletebrilliant article could not agree more about crouch
ReplyDeletePavlyuchenko and Defoe were brilliant together last year in the brief time before Defoe got injured. Thye would be sensational. Give Pav a chance. He is genuine class!
ReplyDeleteGood article, fully agree. Crouch should be used as an impact player to pray of tired defences after Defoe, Pav and or Gud have been running at them for 65-70 minutes and only then if we are loosing or drawing
ReplyDeletewhat about this, get a technical offensive imaginitive foreign attacking coach, and get our players to get on that training pitch, and learn how to create passes for our strikers, and get them strikers to play with imagination, cutting teams to pieces, with delicate chip balls, beautiful one twos, and my biggest bugbear, is why cant they shoot from outside of the box, shooting from outside the box is the best feeling, when its on target, its all about technique, and being pissed off when you miss the target, and learn from it , when you next shoot, honestly outside the penalty area isnt that far to shoot, and it will undo the park the bus teams, even if you dont score, but create problems for the other team, they will have to adjust their tactics, to combat your long shooting, and then you start threading balls through the new holes, and giving them more problems than we have, but playing with jackass, is like starting with 10 men, and he was totally to blame for the wolves goal, we do play good football, lots of neutrals will always watch us, but our problem is were not imaginitive up front, and with crouch in our team, too predictable, when he came on, and offered nothing.
ReplyDeletecoys
Hi, this is very nice blog, if you are interested in link exchange, please email me at support@soccer24.com.
ReplyDelete