The Lost Left Generation

Tottenham's transfer policy is hardly the envy of the Premiership. The amount of money we have pissed up the wall on unproven and ultimately useless players can only be explained as Levy's form of self-harm. Generally it takes one of two paths: the unpolished foreign gem or the home-grown British youngster, and neither have met with particular success. On the foreign scene there was Atouba, Taraabt, Prince Boateng, Rocha, Gilberto and the one who's name even Dumbledore fears to speak...(in hushed whispers)...Rebrov. I am all for bringing through and blooding English youngsters but our policy of judging and nurturing talent seems to be equally flawed. First there was Darren “Tw*tter” Bent and whilst the donkey got goals, most of them were off his shin, the side of his face, his elbow etc etc. Hardly £18 million worth of Premiership gold. Bentley has been another expensive 'flop' and can be added to the likes of Routledge and Ricketts in promising so much and delivering so little. There are exceptions of course, with the stand out candidate being little Lennon, and some of the academy boys (Bostock and Rose especially) are showing a good level of development.

Yet in no position has this transfer policy failed us more than where we most need it, the difficult left side. At the moment 'Arry seems to be content with Modric pulling the strings out on the flank like the little Croatian puppet master he is. A number of people have criticised this saying Modric is 'wasted out there', citing his weak left and his tendency to cut in. Personally I disagree. The great problem Tottenham has experienced over the last few seasons is the inability to boss the middle of the park. With Sergeant Wilson adding some much needed bite and rumours of another enforcer like Sandro being brought in, we should not risk softening our centre with a lightweight Luka. So for the time being, until we get the little fella into the gym and on the same stuff Defoe is taking, Modric should stay on the left. However, when that most controversial of all topics 'squad strength' is mentioned we find ourselves with a problem. If Modric gets injured/suspended and with O'Hara out on loan, suddenly the burden falls onto the diminutive shoulders of Dos Santos.

This boy is surely the greatest example of a 'typical' Spurs buy. Unveiled to the Tottenham faithful with the fanfare of being Ronaldinho's successor, he was going to set the Premiership alight. Fair play to him, he's young and he came into a struggling side. On top of that every player should be given a season of grace to 'adapt' to our fine and apparently quite physical league (try telling the SPL that). Nevertheless, for whatever reason, 'Arry doesn't like him; first shunting him off on loan to Ipswich and then trying to flog him to Pompey. The persistent rumour is that he is a big drinker and rocks up to training late and hungover. If that is the case why hasn't he been fined, why haven't the press made more of a fuss? A far more coherent reason can be seen in the breakdown of his transfer to Pompey when he failed a medical. Suddenly it seems as though Barca may have known something we didn't. The spurs medical staff knew he had knee problems but perhaps these are considerably more serious than first thought. You don't have to be a be-spectacled, bald club chairman to realise a crocked teenager won't make much at market. Glue factory anyone?

In much the same way, our other great left sided prospect Gareth Bale has faded into obscurity despite indications of interest from Milan and Martin Jol. Maybe the Tottenham staff are more superstitious than we had previous thought. Perhaps our young monkey faced prodigy is locked inside his house whilst 'Arry, pitchfork in hand, leads a jeering, torch bearing mob chanting 'Witch, Witch!'. This, however, is unlikely. Mr Redknapp hardly seems the type to believe in 'a load of old tosh' about jinxes and curses. So, injuries aside, why has Bale failed to even feature on the bench? Benoit Assou Ekotto does not have an understudy and in the Darlington game Hutton was forced to shift over the the left. Safe to say he looked more uncomfortable than Cashley Cole when being questioned about his great friendship with George Michael. The lad showed a bit of rashness in his positioning and tackling but I, and many others, thought he looked like a good prospect. Clearly, with persistent ITK reports of bids for Petrov and Belhadj, the club do not feel that Bale and Giovanni are up to the task.

Dos Santos looked good against Doncaster but if there are problems off the pitch then let him go. The last thing we need is another heavy boozer who might lead our dear, naïve Ledders into trouble again (I'm fairly sure it was Dos Santos framing Ledley anyway). I would like to hang on to Bale, he's still young and can play anywhere on the left flank. Oh and he hits the ball so sweetly it brings tears to my eyes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqhoK0QWAXs

However if the boys at the top think he doesn't cut the mustard then so be it...

In 'Arry We Trust

Will the real David Bentley please stand up

Once upon a time the skin headed, tattooed ex-cons we all refer to lovingly as the Yid army were reduced to excited giggling children with the news that we had brought 'Beckham's successor' to the Lane. Cheeky grin, perfectly coiffured and with the initials 'DB', this was fate surely? £15 million of the Levy children's inheritance, one year on, and what do we have? The kind of expensive bench warmer that allows Shevchenko to sleep at night. To make things worse, hours after posing for pictures looking like he had taken fashion advice from El Hadj Diouf, we are informed he decided to wrap his Porsche 911 around a lamp post and was promptly arrested for drink driving. One can only assume that Redknapp's already ruddy complexion reached colours previously unknown to man when news of the event reached him. Yet even before this unfortunate incident the Bentley fan club was hardly trumpeting record numbers of attendees. 'He's arrogant', 'He doesn't give a sh*t about the club', 'Redknapp could get up and down the wing quicker than him', were some of the more polite comments made about dear old David over the past season. By the end of reading this stream of vitriol I almost expected Mr Bentley senior to pop up and admit he was an accident.

I'm as guilty as anyone for jumping on the bandwagon. I remember spraying spittle all over the bloke and his child in front every time he gave the ball away. I remember cheering sarcastically when he was subbed off along with 30,000 odd other fans. I remember using the phrase 'I hope he never pulls on the shirt again' as I tore up my ticket...oh no wait...that was about Bent. But now, after much soul searching, I have a confession to make; I think we should give Bentley another chance.

Forgetting his off the field antics Bentley is by no means the complete football player. For one, he is slow. Compared to our revived pocket rocket Bentley looks like he is slowly fossilizing out on the right flank. He always tries to do too much, every pass has to be a killer ball. Yes yes David we all saw the goal against Ar5ena1 but lets be honest, it was probably a cross anyway. On top of that he doesn't get stuck in, rarely tracks back and doesn't want to head the ball in case it jeopardises his Brylcream sponsorship. All fair criticisms but none of them worthy of exiling the guy from the team permanently. He lacks pace but this is probably because he has never needed it. Blackburn Bentley passed around players and had the kind of off the ball movement and vision that left defenders metaphorically nutmegged. Yes he tries too hard but surely this is understandable. Bentley comes from an entire family of spurs fans and carries the enormous burden of his price tag. He was brought up with the same story we all were, that Tottenham play beautiful,slick passing football, and this shows up in his game. He perhaps doesn't get stuck in as much as he should but then nor did Count Berbula at United until the press and fans got on his back.

There is no doubt Bentley has problems and many have said he has fallen in with his old gang from his days with the scum. After the drink driving incident the statement on the spurs website mentioned the 'personal and professional wake up call' it had given DB. Originally I scoffed but now I'm not so sure. Rumours from ITK's about Bentley being the first on the training field and the last off are becoming too persistent to be ignored. Then there was the Doncaster game, creating three of the five goals and banging the fourth one in himself. Bentley is a confidence player, pure and simple. He needs an arm round his shoulder, a run in the team and for the fans to be singing his name. A few games will enable him to get back his swagger and to build up an understanding with Corluka in the same way Lennon has. That said, Lennon is untouchable at the moment and it is difficult to see where Bentley could fit in. Perhaps shifting Lennon over the the left and bringing Modric in to play in front of Palacios...who knows?

Call me a romantic but there is nothing better than the villain becoming the hero, the return of a prodigal son. He looks hungry to get on the pitch and prove himself, the same kind of hunger that seems to be spurring Defoe on. If Bentley gets his chance, I'll be cheering him on from the terraces. If, that is, he gets his chance...

One last roll of the dice..?

In 'Arry We Trust

Musings on the Liverpool game

Two moments in particular from last season gave me that warm and fuzzy feeling reminiscent of the first time Uncle Arsene played the 'touching game' with me. The first of these was Lennon wheeling away in delight and being mobbed by players and fans alike, his 94th minute strike making it 4-4 away at the scum. The memory of Arsene Wenger stamping and cursing in the dug-out like a petulant child will never fail to bring a smile to my face. The second was closer to home, 1-1 with an unbeaten Liverpool at the Lane, backs against the wall and we're being played off the park. Just as the ninety minutes rolls up and it seems we are going to hold out for a memorable draw, there is a little spark of magic. Some bloke who used to play for us called Bentley, cuts inside and hits the ball with all the swerve he has perfected behind the wheel of his Porsche 911. Reina pulls off a fantastic save but the ball drops to Bent. With possibly the best touch he ever made in a Tottenham shirt, he trickles it 3 yards back for Pav to bang home from close range. It was one of those moments where the crowd noise was so intense that the camera was unable to focus. In the words of Football Manager he sent 'the fans into raptures, the stewards struggle to hold them back'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac4AATxMCSo Watch from 1:40 to feel those shivers all over again.

And who would have thought that next season we would do it all over again. Paddy Power and Betfair certainly didn't, and to be honest neither did I, but in the end it was so effortless we let two of our defenders score. Lets not get this out of context here, Liverpool looked jaded and this is the first step in a marathon season but there was much to take from it. For a start we have finally seen what 'Arry has always told us, that Benoit has “some triffic power in that left boot of 'is”. In fact, it was second only to Danielle Llyod in the list of screamers nailed by Tottenham players. That said, I thought BAE was the only one of our defenders to look shaky on the back foot. Having traded his tribute to Afroman for some more cultured corn-rows, it seemed he allowed poor decision making to slip back into his football. Let us hope this was just minor stage fright from the youngster who was in impressive form last season and kept Ronaldo in his pocket.

The defence in general was fantastic and King in particular was impeccable. He was strong in the air and on the ground, was always talking, and most importantly of all, he showed he has not lost his pace. Indeed, Torres was kept out of the game so well by the big man that chants of “Who are ya, who are ya” echoed around the Lane every time he touched the ball. King needs to play, no matter what it takes. Send him out there with a drip, with a prosthetic leg, anything!! When he plays Tottenham are a different side, simple as that. Corluka put in another solid performance with his casual, loping style of play and Bassong looks like a real prospect. Early days but I certainly smelt the distinct whiff of a young Ledley on him (and no I don't mean Jack Daniels), one to watch for sure.

In midfield, the stand out performer was undoubtedly Palacios, the guy is an animal and exactly what we have been missing for so long. With the absence of Alonso, he bossed and hounded Liverpool's soft squidgy centre and broke up every attack with one of his fearsome lunges. Gerrard, the pool's proudest talisman, was kept quieter than a nightclub with an unconscious DJ. Huddlestone was ok and hit some nice balls as ever but was never closed down. The guy is class when he has all the time in the world to push dainty passes around, whether this season he can step up and play under pressure remains to be seen. Modric didn't have his best game but still demonstrated his exceptional vision and creativity. Some of his passes showed a touch so gentle, so tender and yet so penetrating, it could only be rivalled by the late Michael Jackson. Lennon was double marked out of the game but provided a useful outlet and remains invaluable on the counter. I shall leave any discussion of our strike force for another post but safe to say I have my concerns. I know the Premiership is about versatility and strength in depth but in a season where we have no European football and where the World Cup beckons, not one of those lads is going to be content bench warming.

In the end we looked good for the win and for once we conceded against the run of play (oh Gomes you joker you!) but didn't go to pieces. Instead it was Liverpool who started to lose the plot. First came the misplaced passes, then the cynical tackles and hissy fits, and finally an irate Sammy Lee was sent off (although appeared to wander into a broom closet at the entrance to the tunnel). At times they looked in such turmoil I almost expected Bellamy to run on with a golf club searching for his old Scandinavian pal. Liverpool were bad, dreadful at times, but forget that and forget the dubious penalty shouts. Tottenham weathered pressure, played sensible and at times delightful football and came away with a result they thoroughly deserved.

In 'Arry We Trust

Spurs for the Title??

Life isn't easy being a Spurs fan. Every year since humans developed the capacity to communicate, mumblings of 'this is the season' have be heard drifting on the wind around North London. Every year, Tottenham fans have momentarily clicked away from their pornography to fill message boards and forums with talk of breaking the top four. Every year my inherent scepticism is broken down by the sheer, dogged optimism of my fellow yids and every year I sit in front of Sky Sports watching our delusions of grandeur slowly unravelling. Indeed, such deep feelings of disappointment are comparable only to when that fit girl Claire rejected you back in year 9. The early signs were good; you spent heavily on flowers, you said all the right things and the rumours started to spread round the school that she fancied you. Expectations ran high, the lads slapped you on the back and before you knew it the school disco rolled round.

Kitted out in the shirt your grandma bought you for Christmas 1997 and a few bacardi breezers down, you're feeling good. You see her across the dancefloor dancing seductively, hips gyrating to the sensual strains of B*witched. All of a sudden your eyes meet. 'This is it, this is it' your brain screams out to you as you move towards the press of sweaty teenyboppers. Your heart races, the adrenaline pumps, and then, the crowd parts and there she is...held in the tender embrace of the school rugby captain with tonsil hockey the order of the day. Dejected, shunned, distraught, you shuffle back to the benches where the boys from the chess club are sitting and pretend to be texting. The night ends with you copping off with that slightly podgy, ginger girl from the year below with a minor sweat problem and a noticeable moustache. Such is the ignominy of mid-table...

However, incredibly the run up to this season has been different. The mood on the Tottenham forums has swung between apathy and downright defeatism. Perhaps it is easy to see why. We have long and proud tradition of heavy summer spending, of bringing skillful and exciting players to the Premiership; lions like Klinsmann, Ardilles and...erm...Thimothee Atouba..? However, after months of speculation linking us with everyone from Huntelaar, to Nistelrooy to Sandra Redknapp, and after frantically wiping down our keyboards on many occasions, nothing has materialised. Instead we have ended up with two unproven Sheffield United youngsters for 'Arry to add to his collection of right backs, a defender from a relegated Newcastle squad and something straight out of a young child's nightmare, 'The Crouch'. Even the press, ever ready to massage our egos and set us up for the inevitable fall (“White Hart Pain”, “Gory Gory Tottenham Hotspur”, f*ck off back to Britain's got talent Piers Morgan) have been strangely silent on our prospects. Indeed Martin O'Neill's youthful Villa and Sparky's harem of Bentley driving gold-diggers, have been the only ones mentioned in the same breath as the top four. If I didn't know better I'd say I was feeling a little envious, don't force me into another school disco analogy again.

Yet taking time out from his intense pre season training, his community outreach projects targeting unloved bouncers and being generally 'Dedley', our dear club captain had something very useful to say:

“It has been quiet here. There has not been too much talk about us and the top four. For the last few seasons everyone has been talking about us doing this and that. Now it has been nice to say nothing and just work hard”.

And guess what? The big lad's right. Our squad is certainly ambitious and no one can doubt that the summer additions have given us great strength in depth, but such intense pressure isn't always a good thing. For once, our boys can play without the looming spectre of Lineker being ridiculed every time we lose on Match of the Day. No-one expects us to achieve so we have nothing to lose. Tottenham can just play football without the burden of media expectation and unrealistic fan aspiration, and that has to be a good thing. Perhaps Ledley's speech shows that he has grown as both a captain and a man. Perhaps it reveals a new found realistic maturity in the Spurs dressing room. Perhaps it means we can all settle down and enjoy the season, the great spectacle that is football without the constant jibes from our 'mates' who support the big four.

“With the quality we have got, we can break into the top four."

Oh for f*cks sake Ledley. Who misses Gary Mabbutt..?

In 'Arry We Trust